we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
