So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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