my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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