I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize