I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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