Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
birth control should be required to get into college
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
