he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
