you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
