So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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