I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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