Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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