Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
