He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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