The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize