Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
