whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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