The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
