Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
