I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize