How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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