Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
