The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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