dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
