If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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