She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Oh god it's open bar.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
