at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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