my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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