Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.