So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
I'm going to Hell for sure
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
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he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
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She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.