Texts From Last Night

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  (361): View more from Texas

  Screwed.edu

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  (361): Screwed.edu http://tfl.nu/m1ch
  Replies (7) Good night (626) Bad night (1094) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.

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  (314): I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster. http://tfl.nu/3vkx
  Replies (22) Good night (4069) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA

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  (250): I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA http://tfl.nu/zqva
  Replies (38) Good night (6096) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding

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  (847): i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding http://tfl.nu/srhr
  Replies (12) Good night (5314) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat

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  (561): if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat http://tfl.nu/bqtg
  Replies (40) Good night (5475) Bad night (1066) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old

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  (818): Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old http://tfl.nu/8lce
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.

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  (952): I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants. http://tfl.nu/m7ij
  Replies (10) Good night (2328) Bad night (1150) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.

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  (402): You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement. http://tfl.nu/xw5k
  Replies (14) Good night (4305) Bad night (603) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god

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  (662): I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god http://tfl.nu/z3js
  Replies (6) Good night (637) Bad night (1343)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.

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  (802): No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said. http://tfl.nu/3y67
  Replies (10) Good night (527) Bad night (1325) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?

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  (210): Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting? http://tfl.nu/he3z
  Replies (6) Good night (1039) Bad night (742) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.

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  (917): hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog. http://tfl.nu/99w0
  Replies (9) Good night (1810) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"

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  (412): okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain" http://tfl.nu/zllc
  Replies (2) Good night (591) Bad night (315)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  You sure know how to make a day worth living.

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  (616): i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed. (1-616): You sure know how to make a day worth living. http://tfl.nu/maop
  Replies (4) Good night (726) Bad night (218) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!

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  (937): Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would! http://tfl.nu/dkq8
  Replies (8) Good night (657) Bad night (172)

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