he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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