Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
They took my balls.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
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