I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
