carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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