wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
