how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Bring me that man meat
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
