The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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