Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
