youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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