names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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