I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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