just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
