You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
