Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
