Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
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