True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
