no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
