yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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