so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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