why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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