is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
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Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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