I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
high people should be assigned attendants
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He did a backflip because drugs
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