There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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