She went from zero to smokin in five shots
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
