I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
