I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
