He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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